Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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