So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
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My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
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I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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