:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
