Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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