I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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