Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
zippers are such a cool invention
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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