just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
