New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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