dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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