he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
