white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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