The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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