yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
it hurts more in the daytime
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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