You smell like a Billy Joel song
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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