Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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