i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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