Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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