Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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