We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
