Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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