you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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