Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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