i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
