Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my shit smells like andre
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize