I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
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Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize