you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
