so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
tell me about the eggs
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