i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Damn victory sex feels great
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
