how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
