i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
