can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize