you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize