Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm passing your future prison.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
