Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
How's work?
Spinning.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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