She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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