i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
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A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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