I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
