I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
