it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
