We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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