went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
