I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It was confusing and full of hummus
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
