She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
