It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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