Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I just made out with a guy for $7.

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  (603): I just made out with a guy for $7. http://tfl.nu/nc9g
  Replies (17) Good night (1488) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.

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  (518): Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok. http://tfl.nu/9a6a
  Replies (32) Good night (743) Bad night (2155)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.

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  (859): he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day. http://tfl.nu/iow4
  Replies (44) Good night (976) Bad night (8248)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.

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  (917): she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could. http://tfl.nu/cj4q
  Replies (74) Good night (3997) Bad night (18124)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."

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  (440): New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron." http://tfl.nu/0r6l
  Replies (26) Good night (6112) Bad night (1085)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.

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  (206): He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go. http://tfl.nu/rhri
  Replies (13) Good night (2189) Bad night (3674)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.

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  (403): He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant. http://tfl.nu/2z77
  Replies (10) Good night (3722) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen

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  (732): I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen http://tfl.nu/5vux
  Replies (25) Good night (2573) Bad night (11192)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.

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  (570): i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition. http://tfl.nu/mkq9
  Replies (16) Good night (5513) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.

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  (605): Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min. http://tfl.nu/hu1g
  Replies (3) Good night (1325) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well

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  (785): I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well http://tfl.nu/c3um
  Replies (19) Good night (1842) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist

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  (614): Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist http://tfl.nu/opm5
  Replies (5) Good night (1261) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I'm bringing the tv in with me.

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  (630): Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice. (309): I'm bringing the tv in with me. http://tfl.nu/mqt8
  Replies (17) Good night (1999) Bad night (1163)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!

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  (613): She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved! http://tfl.nu/ke0j
  Replies (6) Good night (1848) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword

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  (817): And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword http://tfl.nu/z2rx
  Replies (1) Good night (673) Bad night (983)

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