Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Your cock deserves a montage
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.