The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize