Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.