He is an equal opportunity slut.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
as a side note pls kill me
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
