I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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