normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
