i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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