I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
