just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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