Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
