just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
