im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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