Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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