In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
