I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
