He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
