dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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